NO on Hate

I will make this one quick and simple. If you are in California and plan on voting Yes for Proposition 8, then don’t. You know better.

You know that same-sex marriage is not an issue. It has no bearing on you, your marriage, or your children. It will not affect the way the sun rises or sets, the cost of bread, or the safety of your pension. You can not be driven off the road late at night by a same sex marriage. You will never have to marry somebody of the same sex yourself. Ever. I promise.

For those of you who wrap yourselves up in the cloak of “It will Save Marriage,” then you are an idiot. I’m sorry, but you know that if the sacrament of marriage can survive Liz Taylor et. al., Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley, Pam and Tommy, and Britney and Jason or Kevin; then it can handle whatever you might think is “bad.”

If you want to vote Yes on 8 then go ahead and move to Alaska and join Todd Palin and the anti-American separatists. Because our Constitution grants rights, freedom, and liberty – NONE of which that can be threatened by two people who love eachother enough to put themselves in the way of hate-mongering dipsticks like you. The Constitution was not designed to discriminate. You are not better than the Constitution.

You get that this is less about some gay couple’s need for insurance and more about YOUR rights don’t you? You get that if a constitutional amendment to outlaw somebody’s inalienable rights is passed that YOU are now threatened. What can we pass next? Nobody with two kids can have a third. No two people of the same sex can start a business. No two people of different religions can marry. Nobody who is unemployed can vote. It does not take a lot to think that somebody out there just may be as afraid of you as you them.

Finally, if I see one more child forced to shill for the homophobes, then I will blame you for every hate crime for the next thirty years. This ridiculous proposition has done nothing but force free, loving young minds to be influenced by shallow, terrified grownups looking to resolve some sort of Freudian complex. Right wing religious extremists are fond of saying that marriage is meant for procreation – and that is their simple reason for promoting hate. But what about all of those kids out there being raised, lovingly, in adopted or foster homes led by same sex partners? Are you anti-gay marriage and pro-orphan? Idiots.

I have been so saddened by the level of reasoning put forth by these folks: “Stop Prop 8 or the schools will teach kids about gay marriage!” No they won’t, but they should. Because people of all stripes will want happiness and love. For somebody in your kid’s classroom right now, that little bit of hope may just keep them from hurting themselves, or using drugs, or doing something else that may actually threaten your rights. And schools should never be in the business of teaching the crude discrimination put forth by rotten parents.

Now, back to my list:
#90 In 2006 Bush set his sites on destroying marriage. By advocating for a Constitutional Amendment declaring marriage should be “defined” he proved he had no understanding of freedom, or the Constitution he swore to defend. Not one Amendment in that sacred document takes away rights, or defines a personal choice. Amendments give rights. The right to vote. The right to not be a slave. The right to cling to guns and religion. Bush’s folly was designed to get conservatives to go out and vote figuring they would go ahead and vote for guys like Rick Santorum…which they did not in 2006.

#89. Rick Santorum: This is the former Pennsylvania Senator who once tried to use Bush’s Scare ‘Em If You Got ‘Em technique around gay marriage by telling humans with brains that homosexuality is the same as bestiality. That was just one of his big hits. He blamed the people of Boston voting for liberals as the reason priests there were raping boys. He suggested there should have been penalties for those who could not leave Katrina’s destructive path in New Orleans. Penalties. He was the star of my Master’s thesis as being one of the most in-the-alcohol-industry-pocket Senator in Washington. Oh, and he claimed that WMD had been found in Iraq. Even Bush knew he was wrong.

But this guy was a Bush water Carrying All Star. Tried to get intelligent design taught in schools as part of NCLB. Claimed to be a compassionate conservative while not having any compassion for victims of rape needing an abortion, or families of immigrants needing an interpreter to tell them to go back to their own country.

#88. Christie Todd Whitman: Now, here’s somebody who has fooled most of progressive America because she quit her gig as head of the EPA because Bush and Cheney treated her like crud and comes off as too smart to be in that Administration. But here is a former Governor who knows that it will be hard to become President with that pesky illegal search of a 16-year-old African American kid for a photo-op always lingering in the background. Maybe now that he’s dead…


But that’s not all. Remember September 11? Of course you do. And of course you remember that huge cloud of building that seemed to fog over Manhattan for weeks. Well, Whitman – following marching orders from W – went into NYC and made sure people thought the air quality was fine and quashed any bad news that may have been discovered by scientists. Science! Bush’s kryptonite. Bush even had her create a report on the effects of global warming only to later dismiss it as baseless.

Doppelganger

So my good friend (and MPKTRS benefactor) Jason wonders, albeit kindly, if my blog is becoming a HuffingtonPost of sorts. Whereas I take that as a compliment because I find the HuffPost to have a great variety of writers, reporting, and commentary (and home to this hilarious piece by Larry David) [also, do not be fooled by it seemingly left-based opinion - tune in today for the Goldwater Family Feud!] I am also cautious that I may bore whatever readers stop by with my recent political whining. I can guarantee that the music and variety is coming very soon. [In the next few days you will get to take part in what stands to be the greatest online musical mission ever attempted: The 24 Hour Song Challenge.]

With these recent posts I certainly do not pretend to be imitating any really thoughtful journalistic efforts. Simply put, I am dealing with a lot of angst over this election and I find the writing helps calm me – and saves my family from (some) of my yelling at the teevee.

Speaking of Imitation. I decided to focus my next entry in my 100 Days Left Reasons to Celebrate on the imitative Presidency of George.

#93. The Cinematic George. We just saw W over the weekend and while the movie may not have been JFK, it was almost as tragic. But the performance by local Josh Brolin actually impressed me for his ability to capture the physical and possibly emotional being of 43. His impression reminds one of just how angry and contemptuous W can be, and the somewhat aloof and effete shell that was born in the shadows of “Poppy.” Here is Brolin on his charcterization.

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#92. The C Student. When George W. Bush proclaimed that average students were just as fit to be president as, let’s say, slightly above average students, a star fell and a bell got its ring in the Alaskan night. Here is Frank Caliendo, who I think does the best Bush hands down. He seamlessly intertwines W’s lack of learnin’ with his lack of maturity and his lack of authority. He does, however, capture Bush’s best quality – his sense of humor. Warped as it may be.

#91. The Original Doofus. Will Ferrel’s Bush is still my favorite. Ferrel had Bush fully drawn before the Supreme Court ever appointed him to Office. His portrayal captures Bush at his simplest. What is sad, is that Bush as simpleton never elevated to statesman. Never elevated to inspirational. And never grew beyond the earliest imitations.

Fait Accompli

Continuing my countdown of the Last 100 Days:

#95. Mission Unaccomplished. I figured this one would make it in the top 20, but I was reminded that today (October 20, 2008) marks the 2,000th day since W claimed major combat was over in Iraq. I figured today was as good a day as any to mark this shameful, disgusting event. Let's not spend a lot of time here, since most of this is common knowledge now (although the stunt was also clearly known when people reelected him in 2004 - which means people probably just figured since the banner was not mispelled that he was not all that bad...?)

Okay, what we know. The use of a jet was pure theater. The carrier was close enough for the standard helicopter landing. Safer to carry the Leader of the Free World, but hey, Reagan played a combat pilot in a movie and then retold its plotlines as wartime anecdotes for years.
As it was immediately apparent that combat operations were really just warming up, the White House and Bush himself claimed for months that the banner was put up, unbeknownst to them, by the sailors aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln. Lie. And, more shameful, that they tried to put the blame on the troops. Again, this was clear in 2004 when Republicans everywhere hailed their party as being so patriotic and pro-soldier. Still he was reelected.

Finally, we know just how stupid this arrogant photo-op blunder ended up being, as the months following the event were the deadliest for American soldiers in Iraq. Over 4,000 have died since, and we have more troops there today than we did on May 1, 2003. And to think, he even made the mission accomplished claim a month later to troops in Qatar. The 20th of January can only bring a better outlook for our military – no matter who is elected.

#94. James Tobin. In 2002 the Bush White House was involved in a phone-jamming scheme when Tobin’s firm doused voter turn-out efforts by Democrats in the gubernatorial election in New Hampshire. After successfully blocking phone calls by the Dems, John E. Sununu, the Republican candidate, won a narrow victory over Governor Jeanne Shaheen. Turns out, they all got caught and some even went to prison. Oddly, what has never been prosecuted is the fact that Tobin and a White House staffer made tons of calls to each other on the day of the jammy jam. Why was a WH employee calling and taking calls from a political operative paid for by the GOP? That employee was Ken Mehlman. He lied about the phone calls. He got promoted to head the RNC.

When You Need Some Wonder

One of the highlights of my week is looking at AP's Week In Photos. It is never less than fascinating, often breathtaking, and always fills me with wonder.

The photos typically featured include images of global life; the celebrations, the strife, and the beautifully mundane.

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More in my series: The Last 100 Days, a celebration of reasons to herald the end of the Bush Presidency.

#96. Bush's Other War, Pt. 1. The other war launched by W has been on an enemy that the world had not realized was terrorizing its prosperity since, oh, the 1600's. Science is dangerous to Bush and the conservatives. Empirical proof means no longer can we make all of our decisions based on religion; it means progress may come in ways that may expect us to think and behave differently, math may get in the way of voodoo economics, and doggone it, the excesses of man may need to be put in check lest we decide winter is overrated.

Take Georgie Deutsch. He was 24. He finagled his way into getting a job at NASA, as a writer and editor in NASA's public affairs office; by working on W’s ’04 campaign and then getting appointed by 43 to his post. Never mind he lied on his resume.

Once he got his job he carried out his simple mission. He had web designers add the word “theory” after any mention of the Big Bang, stating it was opinion and had not been proven. He stated NASA should not “make a declaration such as this about the existence of the universe that discounts intelligent design by a creator.” He also felt his boss, the SCIENTIST in charge of NASA’s SCIENCE division was exaggerating global climate change.

Deutsch resigned once they found out the Texas A&M grad hadn’t actually graduated. I guess W doesn’t much fancy all that book learnin’ anyhows. Hook ‘em horns, indeed.

99, 98, 97 The Countdown Continues

Three more reasons to recognize the end of Bush's presidency in my 100 Days Countdown:

#99. Project for the New American Century. This is the neo-conservative "think" tank which lobbied you, Mr. President, into war with Iraq...before you even read "My Pet Goat." The group, made up of Bush All Stars such as Cheney, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, Perle, Bolton, Armitage, and Fox News’ William Kristol had a mission to bring “regime change” to Iraq and was funded by such American patriots as The Scaifes who spent millions of their millions making up shit about Bill Clinton. Frustrated President Clinton did not invade Iraq and take its oil, on their recommendation in 1998, the PNAC team infiltrated your administration and began laying the groundwork for your ill-fated mission. On September 20, 2001, with the nation still mourning its losses and understanding the depths of terrorism and al Qaeda, you received a letter from PNAC urging again that the US defense mechanisms be employed in Iraq. Sure, there were contracts to be gotten, and most of PNAC’s leadership would profit.

So was it a surprise that you began telling tales about Sadaam and mushroom clouds and yellow cake? Not really. You were surrounded by oilmen who had a lot of investment in defense contracts. Cynical? Maybe then. But not any more.

#98. Ari Fleisher. The first in a tragic stream of liars sent to the podium daily to spin the slow decline of approval. Ari’s greatest hits include:
A. Telling Americans that burning fossil fuel was part of the "blessed" American way of life. Driving big cars was fine; in fact, the President would not stand in their way. Nice going.
B. Allowing Jeff Gannon (or whatever his real, male-prostitute name was) press access – despite his consistently signing in to the WHITE HOUSE with a different name than on his credentials; despite his oft-lobbed softballs used to change the subject in a heated press room; and then pleading ignorant when even 15-year-old computer-lab students could Google Gannon’s bio within a minute of the truth breaking.
C. Spoiler Alert: You figure in two of the biggies that will land in the Top 3 coming next January!!!!

#97. Stupid Comments on the 7’s: I’ll highlight some of the things you said which embarrassed me most every ten spots from here down.

"And so, in my State of the—my State of the Union—or state—my speech to the nation, whatever you want to call it, speech to the nation—I asked Americans to give 4,000 years—4,000 hours over the next—the rest of your life—of service to America. That's what I asked—4,000 hours." —Bridgeport, Conn., April 9, 2002

The Last 100 Days

Today is the day we celebrate the final 100 days of George W. Bush's Presidency. It may sound harsh to use the term "celebrate" but because we live in the greatest democracy on the globe we are often righteous is sitting quietly in protest of our leaders' actions, while knowing that we, the electorate, will have our say and there will either be change or a re-employment of that which we approve of. The key is that it will be peaceful and principled. Well, I have sat quietly, along with many millions who, over the past eight years, have watched this President abuse power, trash the Constitution, lower the expectations of government, shame the good name of the U.S., stumble over itself, disregard the People, and attempt to erase two hundred years of progress towards peace and prosperity.

Sound unfair? Join me for the next 100 days as I count down my own, personal, list of the 100 reasons to celebrate the end of this administration. Is it stupid? Sure. But on this list will be more high crimes and misdemeanors than any President ever before - even one I can think of who was actually impeached! These will come in no particular order, save for maybe the top 10 or 25. By then I'll probably be too depressed to rank them.

#100. Those First Days. In those first weeks after the election we saw every facet of your character that we would come to despise over the course of your reign. I do not argue that because Al Gore won the popular vote he should have been President. I believe the Electoral College is the system we use for good reason. If you won the electoral votes, then yes, you should have won the election.

But what we knew then was that Katherine Harris was both responsible for atrocious deficiencies in the Florida elections overseen by your brother; and was your campaign co-chair. Her crimes, and yes, they were crimes, are now legendary - as is your employment of cronyism with some of the worst cronies a guy can have! As the country became more divided, you employed James Baker to fight legitimate recounts – all the way to the Supreme Court. Before you ever took office you displayed an arrogance that would only foretell the unilateral, narrow minded decision-making to come.

Teen Alligator

I have a teenager as of tomorrow. A beautiful, smart, funny, talented, sweet, amazing teenager. Does that make me old? No. That makes her old.

I think X and I are doing pretty well for the circumstances. She's not 40 so I think she does not see this as such a big deal. But I am 40 and I need somebody to reassure me that my daughters will stop growing up some day. I don't want to imagine - I CANNOT - imagine a life where they are not the first faces I see in the morning and the last before I crawl off the couch, trip over their towels left in the hall, and head to bed.

But enough about me. Let me tell you about America's newest teen sensation. Allison, as you may know, came to us under very odd yet powerful circumstances. She was the cutest child ever to grace the planet for almost three years. She walked. She spoke. She could sing most of Rockin' Robin before she was out of diapers. She could read before she knew how. She loved Mary Poppins. She still loves Mary Poppins.

That's what is most awesome about Alligator. She has not changed much over the past 13 years. Sure, she's taller and can now do dishes like nobody's business; but she is also gentle, and careful, and peaceful. She takes time to think about how she sees the world. She keeps friends dear, and her mom is her hero. Her patience drives us nuts. We often remark that her greatest accomplishment was possibly the raising of her younger sister Campbell. She has had a lot more impact than mom and dad I think.

I have been playing music with Allison lately and I hope one day we'll share some of the songs we play. She has a great voice and loves cool songs. She also loves "Wicked" but I am hoping she'll grow out of it - but secretly, I hope she never does. I hope she never stops singing Disney songs, and watching Little Bill with my niece because she actually may like it more. I hope she gets through these teen years never being afraid to sing out loud, to act like the world will just work itself out, and to start her path to adulthood with the same conscientiousness she brought into that wild night in 1995.

Mostly, I hope she makes her teen years last forever.

Rhythm Akimbo - 13

Camera Obscura - Teenager

The Ting-Tings - Happy Birthday

"How Long Have I Been At This? 5 Weeks?"

Well, its over. The families are taking the stage. Even Bristol. Or is that Willow? So now comes the analysis. Some will say Sarah stole their hearts tonight...

...I'll just add that she is probably eating them voraciously backstage.

And wiping her mouth with the Constitution.

Xtina won Palin Bingo tonight. She had the following:
Maverick
Obama
National Guard
Bailout
Heart land

She also had:
Drill
National Guard
Air Space (Center square pic of Palin)
Job Creation
Tax Belief

I had:
Alaska
Special Needs
Air Space
Hockey Mom
Terrorists

The girls did not get bingos although they did check out to do homework, and for being frustrated that none of the cards had a spot for "darn right" and "heck yeah."

An Open Letter to Joe Biden

Because I recently posted a list of discussion points I would like to have with Sarah Palin (by the way, she has not responded to my letter), it is fair and balanced that I provide equal time and concern for the Democrat’s nominee for Vice President. Now, up until a few weeks ago I mocked all things “bloggy.” I hated the term (actually still think its silly) and found no interest in any wisdom culled from the “blogosphere” (possibly the dumbest fake osphere there is). But then came the RNC Convention and the Talking Points attacks on the “elite media” who were inquiring as to the background, experience, and views of the new conservative Vice Presidential nominee. Since no national print, network or cable press organization were allowed to talk to the nominee, the only folks doing the vetting happened to be bloggers.

Folks, I am in a recliner right now in the recline position. I am watching last nights Letterman (how perfect is Julia Louis-Dreyfus?) on the DiVo. I barely have shorts and a t-shirt on, and I am eating a nectarine. I am sure I am elevating the professionalism level of those “elite” media organizations who dared to find out what the RNC did not want you to know. But, I digress. Back to the Ten Things I Want to Say to Joe Biden, as we near the Veep Debate this Thursday.

10. Land of the Lost. Please, Joe, tell me that you know that dinosaurs and humans did not co-exist as claims your opponent. Yes, Will and Marshall and Holly (as well as Cha-Ka) ran from T-Rex and friends on a fantasy tv show when the Governor and I were children – but I’d like to believe that those episodes were not run alongside The Flintstones on the Alaskan Discovery Channel.

9. Get On Top of Your Past Pt. 1. Somehow you have avoided having to be re-wrung over the 1988 campaign in which you were smacked out of the ring for alleged plagiarism. Although plagiarism was not your mistake, allowing it to fester under your admirable career, was. Before the vast Rove wing conspiracy brings out Mikey D’s old campaign ads, be sure you have a team of defeaters in place, including Dukakis. He has the time on his hands. Hell, get Olympia Dukakis.
8. How’s Your Family? No, really, I want to know. I should see your wife and sons making your case. Why? Well, they aren’t idiots and people may just find their real-life stories as appealing as naming your kid after part of a shotgun. Speaking of shotguns, your son Beau is a soldier, don’t be afraid to share the mantle of sacrifice with your competitor. Speaking of shotgun weddings, would you, in the name of Dan Quayle, PLEASE insert some friggin’ Family Values into this race!

7. Get on Top of Your Past Pt. 2. Yeah, at some point they are going to start running ads showing you suggesting a Kerry-McCain ticket in 2004. Those clips are better than porn to Rove. Better have a good answer – and it shouldn’t be anything stupid like your Hilary Would Have Been Better Than Me statement.

6. Say Cheese! You have the best teeth ever to run for high office since 1960. Use them! You are warm and funny, you don’t have a scowl or a deer-in-headlights glaze. At the debate you should laugh…often. Every time she says something like "I've read most of them, again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media,” when asked what specific newspapers or magazines she gets her news from. Laugh and say “And you were a journalism major?” or “Great appreciation? You’ve got to be kidding.” I think the color incredulous is the right shade for you this Thursday.

5. Don’t Play Sun City. In the Eighties you were a loud voice against the Reagan Administration’s terrible policies which supported investment in apartheid South Africa. That leadership helped frame a national moral stance which I believe was more important than any Reagan speech telling the Russians to “tear down” a wall that was already crumbling. No, the USA led a world movement to provide true liberty to a nation without ever pulling a trigger.

4. Get On Top of Your Past Pt. 3. You know, Joe, you know. They have yet to fight. There is a bunker somewhere under Karl’s Kave in which a loop of your “He’s articulate and bright and clean” is playing over a bed of Mantovani. Let your running mate make the joke about it in your presence.

3. Hey, Joe, You’re 65! Your opponents do not like sexist attacks, and thinks their nominee is “experienced.” However you are old (to her) and she loves to mockingly point out that you entered the Senate when she was in 2nd grade. That just makes her ageist. And possibly unaware that her running mate is 6 years older than you. Tell her off for mocking your service to your country and suggest that if she had studied those speeches from your Senate career, she may be able to answer questions without having to “get back” to the reporter with an answer!

2. And another thing… Don’t let the nuances get lost. When Palin attacks your longevity in Congress, please point out that in your last re-election you won 53% of the vote and pulled in more votes than her “Maverick Reformer” win in equally small Alaska two years ago! You are still viable! (For doubters, just know that I also do not think McCain is too old to be President. I think he's too crazy and dangerously ignorant, but not too old)

1. Put the Needle On the Record Put the Needle On the Record Put the Needle on the Record. Joe Biden you can honestly claim a history of doing the right thing. Bipartisan work with Bush to boost his global AIDS portfolio, Violence Against Women Act, tons of cops on the street and a declining crime rate in direct correlation, drug prevention beyond Just Say No, actually calling a war criminal a “war criminal” to his face and pushing for our involvement in Bosnia, and a relentless attempt to get people to challenge this Administration’s failed Iraq policies. You just never seem to get those things out before you say something stupid.